East of Eden
I knew then how much she meant to me, but still I breathed more easily, and with a little effort and self-reassurance I was able to truly let that part of myself go - of course I would find them again, better to just carry on as planned and forget about this for the time-being. I summoned my will power and became filled with the motivation to continue – a positive resolution all round - and quickly moved from that peculiar alley with hope of finding a wider space. I wanted to see the fields again, my heart almost burned with the memory of that last time, just out of reach….
I walked with my head down looking neither left nor right, once again alone and knowing nothing but my dreams - I wanted to see them again, once we had all been friends and lain together in the fields before the end, watching time run away and Summer fade to Autumn. It is true that we had parted company and that I had gone a separate way, but I felt for the first time in a long age the stirring of an unbroken connection with this place and I hastened to my appointment with the fate. I wanted to cry - how long had I been a lost soul, had it been an eternity, why hadn’t I realized, had I always been wrong? I want to find it, I want to go back….
I completely lost track of time, where I was going, what I was doing, in fact I completely lost track of everything, but feeling my consciousness awaken once more I stopped again and looked around and immediately breathed a sigh of relief. There I was afforded an abundance of joy in my heart and thanked my instincts, for although I was not yet at the Elysium fields I had somehow found my way into the garden of my parents, a pure Eden of sheer delight. To my back was the sacred stream which ran down from the northern hills and before me was the house that they had built, hazy in the sunshine, surrounded by flowers and trees. The Oracle was over on the left, just out of sight behind the hawthorns and nightshade, while the city, I sensed, was far away in the West; I was completely safe and fully confident once again, my passion subsided, and I became one with the surroundings, silent as a hare in the grass.
This home territory was indeed a special place, an infusion of nature and daylight concentrated into one circular area, the sphere of sanctity and childhood. There was no sound at all - except perhaps for an inaudible humming in the background - for this was deep – the third dimension. I had not been there long before I saw a movement amongst the grass and bushes by the side of the house and to my most intense happiness, a sweet thrill seldom known, I saw two tawny creatures step slowly up the sloping bank, turn, and look my way. One was a stag, the other a hind, and my joy knew no bounds. I loved them dearly and wished with all my heart to follow where they led, the path to the Elysium fields.
I willed myself to keep sight and follow them, but was rooted to the spot by my stronger concern that they should not be startled. Lord, was I enraptured by the presence of these sacred animals whilst in the Eastern land, the very sight of them gave me a sense of peace and rare privilege fortifying my spirit as if I had drunk the elixir of life. My throat filled with nectar, the surge of courage, and knew then that the fields would be found some other day and that the world of dreams was complete as the land of living. Geography suddenly became interesting - my self underwent a revolution - and like a herald I felt the wind of this Eden blowing me towards the potter’s hearth.